Creating Peace of Mind Through Family Planning Conversations at Bank of New York Mellon

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“Bank of New York Mellon employees who foster open-ended family dialogues and co-create a shared vision around their estate plans can replace lingering uncertainty with genuine confidence—and for personalized guidance, consult a legal, financial, or tax advisor” – Patrick Ray, a representative of The Retirement Group, a division of Wealth Enhancement.

“By inviting open, curiosity-driven discussions around estate planning, Bank of New York Mellon employees can transform documents into a living blueprint for family unity. Yet, for tailored advice, it’s best to consult a legal, financial, or tax advisor” – Michael Corgiat, a representative of The Retirement Group, a division of Wealth Enhancement.

In this article we will discuss:

1. The role of meaningful, informed conversations in finding genuine peace of mind.

2. Three intentional steps to engage Bank of New York Mellon families in collaborative estate planning.

3. Practical strategies for aligning legal documents with family values and long-term goals.

Arthur has made financial services his life’s work, thoughtfully preparing for every aspect of his family’s future. He's provided his wife Estelle and their three adult children with contact information for his lawyer, Sam, who works closely with Arthur’s financial advisor. Whenever the subject of estate planning arises, Arthur calmly reassures them, “You honestly have nothing to worry about—just call Sam.” While well-intentioned, this approach overlooks a key truth: real peace of mind comes not from handing over a name, but from meaningful, informed conversations—something that may resonate deeply with many Bank of New York Mellon employees and their families.

Insights from the Generations Project's℠ Later-in-Life Conversations Study, conducted by the Fidelity Center for Family Engagement, reveal that peace of mind is among the top two goals in later-life planning discussions for baby boomers, Gen Xers, and millennials. ¹  Despite this, it remains one of the least addressed subjects. A surprising 66% of parents admit they are hesitant to discuss this with their children. ¹  When family members lack clarity, uncertainty—and anxiety—can quickly grow.

Notably, peace of mind appears to stem from open dialogue about long-term goals, setting clear expectations, and providing family members with easy access to trusted information. This includes decisions about beneficiary designations, executors, health care proxies, wills, trusts, and dependent care insurance. Without such clarity, family members may experience what Dr. Timothy Habbershon of the Fidelity Center for Family Engagement calls “wondering anxiety”—uncertainty about long-term financial needs, health incidents, or how estate plans may affect them.

Dr. Habbershon contrasts this with the clarity gained from openness and thoughtful conversation. Transparency is the remedy to the discomfort caused by unasked questions. By speaking candidly and exchanging ideas, families—Bank of New York Mellon employees included—can replace lingering anxieties with productive dialogue rooted in trust and understanding.

Those who realize that documents alone are insufficient should take one step further: encouraging active participation. To foster true peace of mind and deeper family bonds, consider these three intentional steps:

1. Ask What Questions Family Members May Have

Effective planning begins with curiosity. Instead of explaining or defending existing plans, start by listening. Arthur could begin the conversation with Estelle and their children by asking:

- “What part of our planning feels unclear to you?”

- “How does our current approach impact your sense of comfort?”

- “What else would you want to know to feel more confident about our future?”

By resisting the urge to justify decisions, Arthur uncovers the uncertainties behind their concerns. Posing follow-up questions like “Can you expand on that?” or “What would make this clearer for you?” invites deeper dialogue and mutual respect.

2. Invite Input on the Planning Process

For Wealth Enhancement advisor Michael Corgiat, a guiding principle is to enroll adult children in the planning process now, when you can have informed discussions. Too often, even well-meaning planners take a “we know what’s best” approach. By clarifying your intentions in advance, and in your own words, you can help strengthen connections—something Bank of New York Mellon families may find especially valuable.

Arthur might ask:

- “How does this process feel from your perspective?”

- “Do you feel you’ve had enough input?”

- “What changes might help you feel more included?”

These questions focus less on legal language and more on collaborative engagement. Giving family members a role in the process builds confidence and reduces anxiety around future changes.

3. Co-Create a Vision for Later Life

Planning is not just about future legal steps—it’s about present-day relationships. Encouraging family members to think together about how they want to spend time, support one another, and adapt to change brings emotional and practical priorities into alignment for Bank of New York Mellon households.

Arthur might ask:

- “What shared experiences should we prioritize in the coming year?”

- “Which conversations or activities would feel most meaningful?”

- “How should we navigate shifts in care, housing, and health needs?”

These discussions allow families to align financial and legal tools with their personal values. By bringing everyone into the conversation, Arthur reinforces not only clarity, but also family unity.

Bringing It All Together

Estate planning documents are important, but they’re only part of the story. The conversations that surround them create the true emotional foundation for peace of mind. Families that engage in open, participatory planning are more likely to feel greater confidence and less uncertainty about the future. In contrast, the 66% of parents who shy away from these conversations risk leaving loved ones confused and concerned.

Bank of New York Mellon employees can take three practical steps to shift from good intentions to meaningful family engagement:

1. Use curiosity-driven, open-ended questions to draw out concerns.

2. Seek feedback about the process, not just the outcomes.

3. Build a shared vision that blends daily life with legal planning.

This inclusive approach helps transform vague concerns into actionable clarity. Discussions about wills, trusts, proxies, and beneficiaries become shared efforts, illuminating financial, legal, and emotional priorities. The result is an environment of mutual trust, support, and understanding—a space where true peace of mind can grow.

According to Fidelity’s State of Wealth Mobility study, 56% of adults never had discussions about money management with their parents, yet among families that do, two-thirds actively engage in estate and retirement planning—with a significant boost in confidence as a result. ²

Just as an orchestra needs each musician to understand their role, estate plans resonate most when everyone involved hears the same tune, contributes their part, and works in harmony to carry forward a shared vision.

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Sources:

1. Fidelity Center for Family Engagement. ' The Generations Project ^SM : Findings from the Later-in-Life Conversations Study .' 2024. 

2. Fidelity Investments. “ Americans Ready to Break the Cycle of Avoiding Family Discussions on Finances ,” 19 Nov. 2024.

Other Resources:

1. Barron's. “ Northern Trust Reveals ‘Secrets of Enterprising Families’ ,” by Abby Schultz. 9 April 2024.

2. Investopedia. “ How to Have 'The Talk' With Your Parents: The Financial Discussion You Can't Avoid Forever ,' by Lucy Lazarony. 7 July 2025.

3. Kiplinger. “ Six Ways to Make Talking With Family About Estate Planning Easier ,” by Jacob Wolinsky. 9 Apr. 2025.